A proud surrogate shares her journey carrying for a same sex couple!

A proud surrogate shares her journey carrying for a same sex couple!

Beauty … Joy … Pride … all words that swirl around the thought of a becoming a parent and welcoming a baby into the world.

But what if, as much as you think about and want to become a parent, as a same sex couple, you’re going to have to find a more scientific way to that end result.

Enter: surrogacy!

More specifically, Jenn — a surrogate who has twice carried a baby for a same sex couple and who would (maybe?!) consider doing it again. There was that much beauty, joy and quite literally pride in her overall experience.

Okay, so let’s back it up a little bit and get the deets on what Jenn’s “WHY” is for being a surrogate. It’s actually a very poignant memory of hers from when she was about 12 years old and was with her mom at a Street Fair.

They walked by a woman who was wearing a t-shirt with the words “I’m Just the Oven” printed on it and Jenn, curious, asked her mom exactly what that meant. When her mom gave her the basic overview/definition of a surrogate, it resonated with Jenn and she decided then and there that she “wanted to do that”.

Flash forward a couple of decades:

Jenn, married and with two children of her own, found herself (as was the rest of the world) in the middle of a pandemic and having a rather philosophical conversation with her husband about what in their lives – at THAT moment – was making them happy. It didn’t take long for them to land on the answer: children. Their children! This is when she had what Oprah likes to call an Aha! Moment. It was a moment of clarity that her 12 year old self had planted those many years ago and it had manifested to this. She knew she wanted to give that joy of being a parent to someone else. As in, right now.

Never one to dabble lightly, Jenn jumped in with both feet (and a uterus) and within two weeks was talking to people about how to turn this little pipedream into full blown reality.

What a Guy!

As any inquisitive person would expect, one wonders what her husband was thinking and feeling about this and Jenn explained that while he didn’t fully understand her need to do this, he was supportive. (If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, it’s “WHAT A GUY!!”)

Her first journey:

Jenn worked with a surrogacy agency to “match” her with Intended Parents (IPs in surrogacy lingo), as well as guide her through the paperwork and psychological exam required for any prospective surrogate. She most definitely could make requests for what her parameters were for IPs whether it be a same sex couple, hetero couple, IPs who already had another child (either biological or through surrogacy) or maybe even a single parent … but as it turned out, she was open to whatever was the best fit for her profile and matched with IPs who were originally from the United Kingdom and were now living in San Diego. Fortunately, they already had frozen embryos and waiting at a fertility clinic and so a mere four months after applying to be a surrogate, she had an embryo transfer and it became a viable pregnancy!

Bingo, that was easy … except Jenn is quick to share that her first journey happened at “jump in with both feet lightning speed” and is probably not typical of most journeys which can take up to two years from start to finish. But this one was definitely meant to be.

Working with a same sex couple:

Being a surrogate for a same sex couple was not a stretch for Jenn as her background in theater gave her lots of exposure to the LGBTQ+ group. Additionally, she points out that same sex couples seem to approach the pregnancy with a “wide-eyed wonder” as this, in reality, is not something that is a given, as it might be for a hetero couple. There is an element of fun throughout the pregnancy, Jenn said, as she walked them through the pregnancy and all the big and little milestones!

Another beautiful aspect of having same sex IPs is that Jenn’s children, 8 and 4 years old at the time of her first surrogacy, didn’t really have a notion of what was happening. But they are now 12 and 9 years old and have come to see and learn first-hand the selflessness of their mother as she gave two couples that chance to be parents. Jenn said her children see themselves as LGBTQ+ allies and that same sex parents are “normal” for them without question or judgment and that there is a real beauty to that.

And there are the words that have colored Jenn’s surrogacy journeys for same sex couples: Beauty … Joy … Pride

Would it be too cliché to say, as June Pride Month wraps up, that a baby is the ultimate pot of gold at the end of this surrogacy rainbow?

Become a surrogate:

If you would like to learn more about becoming a surrogate, please click here to see if you may qualify! Give us a call at 608-514-9150 or text us at 608-469-0018. We would love to talk to you about surrogacy!!

Written by: Cindy Joers