Margaret and Eric – Reflecting on Surrogacy Ten Years Later
On a brand new episode of Hope Works, we are so excited to introduce you to Margaret and Eric, a New York couple who reflect on their surrogacy journey a decade after their son was born. Before Margaret met Eric, she’d already been through a difficult fertility journey, facing obstacles that threatened her dreams of becoming a mother. After they married, they weren’t sure how they’d bring a baby into the world. But they knew they had to try. Their surrogacy journey surprised them, humbled them and brought them more love than they could have imagined. Their son is now 9 years old, and in this episode they look back at the journey, at everything that happened and how it changed their lives. You can listen to Margaret and Eric tell their story here! Just press play below!
Reflecting on the journey
Margaret and Eric started looking into surrogacy over ten years ago. At the time, they didn’t fully know just how much it would change their lives. They didn’t know the highs and lows, the worries and the joys. They didn’t know that when they met their surrogate, that she would stay so important to their family throughout all these years. And even though they approached surrogacy to pursue their dream to bring a child into the world, the biggest surprise of all was how life with their son, Mark, surpassed their wildest dreams.
“I had no idea, honestly,” Margaret said. “I can’t imagine life without Mark…”
Reflecting on it all, Eric said, “We never imagined how great [the surrogacy journey] was going to be.”
Legacy of Love
Margaret always knew she wanted to be a mother. An early fertility struggle made her dreams nearly impossible to achieve, and when she married Mark, they already had complex lives and careers. “When you get together with somebody the second time around, a different life stage, you both come with your own friends and family… and our lives merged together so nicely.”
But after her earlier fertility struggles, Margaret didn’t know if she could continue pursuing her dream of becoming a mother.
“I almost let it go,” Margaret said, “And then I thought, I wanted to carry on the mother-child relationship that my mother had with me. And we were able to give my parents a grandchild before they passed away.”
Looking back at a long-lasting friendship
Margaret and Eric knew right away that their match was perfect for them. Their surrogate and their surrogate’s husband met them in Wisconsin, and the two couples hit it off right away. “They’re down to earth, nice people with great senses of humor,” Margaret said.
Looking back at the moment they met, Eric said, “She did this out of the goodness of her heart.”
“She said it was easy for her to have children, and she had friends who had trouble having children,” Margaret said. “She’s a goal setter… surrogacy was something she put on her list.”
After ten years, the two couples are still very connected. “They’re some of our best friends now,” Eric said.
Hear from their son, Mark
Margaret and Eric share their story often, with friends, with family, and especially with Mark. At nine years old, Mark talks about their surrogate and their journey without hesitation. And in one very special part of the episode, Mark comes to the microphone to share a few words himself.
Listen Now and Subscribe!
Hear Margaret, Eric and Mark reflect on their story by clicking here, downloading on iTunes, or pressing play above.
If you’re reading now, make sure to subscribe to the podcast to hear more from the amazing parents sharing their stories on this season of Hope Works. Also, you can go back to old episodes and listen to surrogates share their stories! Just click here.
And if you’re thinking of becoming a surrogate to help families like Amy’s, we’d love to start the conversation. You can send us a message or call at our Contact page here. We can’t wait to talk to you about how Hope works!
PS. A quick catch up with Margaret
We recorded this episode a few months ago, so our podcast host Brent Love followed up with Margaret for some questions about the episode and a wish for the New Year.
Brent: You mentioned something in our conversation that really struck a chord for me – that the major, heavy emotions that are part of your thoughts throughout the surrogacy journey, they pass. You don’t think of them everyday. Am I saying that right? How would you describe that passing?
Margaret: The major, heavy thoughts and emotions I was referring to were more about the implications of the surrogacy – Will mark feel like my child if I don’t give birth to him? Will I think about this often? will it interrupt the natural bonding process? These concerns went away almost immediately and have rarely resurfaced.
Brent: You and Eric have been really intentional about creating a connection between Mark and his surrogate and her family. What’s the best part about that connection for you?
Margaret: Our carrier and her family are so special to us even though we don’t have regular contact. We have visited several times and connect through social media. Her girls find our son very funny, and they have made memories together in NYC and Madison. The best part about this relationship is that Mark has a context for his birth story.
Brent: Finally, it’s a new year! As you reflect on the year ahead, any resolutions or hopes for your family in 2020?
Margaret: 2020? Good health, happiness, And lots of joyful activity!
We couldn’t agree more, Margaret. Happy New Year from everyone at Hope!