Ashley & Dave – 2 Proud Parents Who Never Gave Up
It’s the season finale of Hope Works, and today, we’re wrapping up the second season by introducing you to two of the proudest parents we know, Ashley and Dave. When Mary first met Ashley and Dave, they’d already been through some of the toughest days of their lives. They’d hit mountain after mountain on their journey to becoming parents, and it never seemed to get easier. They tried doctor after doctor. They flew from state to state meeting new fertility teams, trying new treatments. It was terribly hard, but they never lost hope. They’re now the incredible parents of a beautiful boy name Brigham. With all that they went through, how did they stay hopeful? And what was it like to finally welcome their son into the world? Press play below and let them tell you!
A proud mom tells her story
Ashley and Dave’s surrogacy journey transformed them, and powered by the hope her surrogacy journey gave her, Ashley has shared much of her story on her blog, theborrowedbump.com. Through her writing and her online connections, Ashley has encouraged women around the country with the message that they aren’t alone.
After recording this episode, our podcast host, Brent Love, still had a couple of questions that we had to share here!
Better than any dream
Brent: So, here’s a question I didn’t ask that I wish I had. You wanted to be a mom for so long. Now you are! Does it live up to the dream you had? Better? Harder?
Ashley: Even better than any dream; but harder too! Close friends have commented that we seem to enjoy it more than someone that didn’t struggle. We take in the small moments and seem to appreciate it even more than we would if we had become parents easily. We are pretty obsessed!
Staying close with your surrogate
Brent: You continue to have a great relationship with your surrogate. I know you are proud of the journey you took together. Do you have any advice on how to build a great parent/surrogate relationship?
Ashley: I really think it depends on your personality and expectations. I am a ‘dive all in’ type of girl and have a tendency to get close to people quickly. I like the idea of letting the relationship happen naturally. Our surrogate and I texted all of the time, and she sent us weekly heartbeat videos, which really helped the bonding. She was great at telling me her cravings and telling me how active our baby was at times. All of that helped us so much to feel close to her and be a part of the pregnancy.
Healing broken hearts
Brent: One big thing that moms often worry about (and surrogates, too, sometimes) is what it will be like to work with another woman to bring your baby into the world. You spoke so beautifully about getting over the mountain. Do you have any advice to other moms who worry about their relationship with the surrogate who will carry their baby?
Ashley: Once you accept that you need a surrogate, things seem to get easier and more exciting. Mary had such a huge part in my relationship and soothing our fears. The match was top notch! I’ve spoken to many IP’s and surrogates, and it seems that the relationship gets stronger over time. It is honestly like dating at first, but then you (hopefully) get close through the appointments and weekly countdown! I tried to search my heart for jealousy, and never once felt it! I think most of us are just so grateful that we are finally expecting a baby, that a lot of the feelings of being left out just wither away. Robby and Amy were able to join our team and help mend our broken hearts.
The end result is so worth it!
Brent: Looking ahead, what is keeping you hopeful as you work toward having your second?
Ashley: The entire pregnancy was some of the very best months of our entire life. It was absolutely amazing and so inspiring. And, I know what comes at the end, a baby! I know we will get there again, and can’t wait to share another journey with another angel. The end result is SO worth all of the heartache!
This is what it’s all about
The end result IS so worth it. As a team at Hope, nothing makes us more proud than helping moms and dad reach the moment when they meet their baby. Ashley shared the photos below of the moment her son was born. With tears streaming down her face, she says that this was the moment everything finally made sense.
This moment – the moment parents finally hold their baby – this is what it’s all about. All the obstacles parents face, all the steps surrogates take, and all the work we do at Hope. Ashley said in this episode that, “surrogacy put us back together again.” And the love they found made it all worth it.
Thank you so much, Ashley and Dave, for sharing your story with us. We are so proud to be part of your journey. If you’re reading this and you’d like to help parents bring their baby into the world, send us a message and find out more about becoming a surrogate.
We can’t wait to hear from you and to talk to you about how Hope works.