Meet Amber, Pete and Virginia, an Intended Family from Minnesota.
Meet Amber, Pete and Virginia, an Intended Family from Minnesota: Our Fertility Journey so far…..
We have been married for 10 years coming up in September and dated 6 years prior.
We had tried to conceive since the very beginning without much…well, without ANY luck. After a while we sought out help, did one cycle of Clomid, and tested for ovulation until we got the smiley face. Pete had to be 15 minutes late to work but just like that we were blessed with our daughter, Virginia. We found out we were pregnant on St. Patrick’s Day, and she will forever be our lucky charm. ”
I had the perfect pregnancy and Virginia was a wonderful baby. We truly couldn’t have hoped for a better experience. We like to joke that if all pregnancies and babies were like this one, we’d have had 12!
Fast forward a year or so and we are ready to try again. Maybe not for 12 but at least for another. This time things posed to be a bit more challenging. We tried everything! All the meds, doctors, and tests. Pete traveled often for work at the time. So, when we say “everything” this includes Amber jumping a plane on multiple occasions to wherever he was at when it was “that time.” If that’s not romantic I don’t know what is >insert sarcastic tone here<.
We finally went down the IVF path. Over five years, three fertility clinics, six doctors, three egg retrieval cycles, ten embryos, seven transfers, one surgery, countless cycles, and what feels like eight million ultrasounds, tests, appointments, needle pokes and drugs later here we are! We are physically and emotionally tired! More than that, however, we have concluded, with the encouragement of our doctors, that it is time to go down a different path if we want to grow our family.
As hard as it is to come to terms with that, we must accept the reality of our situation.
The issue is we haven’t been able to get my lining thick enough to support successful implantation. Each time we went into it with a “this is the time!” mentality. I remember when it was “third time’s a charm!” I remember when our wedding song was playing on the speaker during our fifth embryo transfer and thinking “this is going to be it!”. Never in a million years did we think this is where we would end up. That we would have to consider someone else may carry our child.
But here we are, and we couldn’t be more grateful that this option exists and that there are women out there who are willing to help in this capacity. Thank you for being one of those women who consider helping couples like us.
Our daughter Virginia is 7 ½! She is absolutely incredible, and we couldn’t be more proud of her. If another child never comes to be, we are convinced that God gave us the best one.
She is finishing up first grade this year and it has been a wonder watching her grow and learn. Virginia has a nurturing personality and has very much wanted a sibling. Over the years she has told people she has a sibling. She even did a school art project showing she has a sister. As cute as that is, it’s sure a heartbreaker from where we are standing! She knows that mommy and daddy want to give her a sibling but also knows that it might not happen, and she understands this.
She really is an emotionally intelligent little girl. She is kind and has a beautiful awareness of where others are at and allows that awareness to drive her words and actions. It’s quite amazing to watch her be her.
Pete and I both work full time. Pete used to travel a lot but since COVID we both have been working from home and we will be working from home for the foreseeable future. Virginia was home “virtual learning” for part of her kindergarten school year which was quite the experience.
April 2021 was my last attempted fertility cycle. The doctors planted the seed of using a carrier quite some time ago, but we never thought we’d actually end up here. Since April of 2021, we have taken an overdue mental break from all “this.”
We decided to just focus on us, as a family.
We spent time golfing, boating, and being with family and friends. We like to be outside, go for walks, cook, and share meals with our special people. We decided to get a puppy this year! His name is Cash Diamond, he is a Goldendoodle, and he is just over 5 months old. Virginia got partial naming rights and chose “Diamond” playing off Tiny Diamond from Trolls World Tour. If you are unfamiliar, I encourage you to look him up and listen to his rap solo – this is Cash’s theme song. “He and Virginia are pals, and he is a wonderful pup.
Our Friends and Families:
Pete grew up in Willmar, MN and is the youngest of two. He has an older sister, Gretchen who has 3 boys: Drew (14), Tate (12), and Briggs (9). Her and her husband, Rob, still live in Willmar. She is a principal, and he is the parks and rec director of the City of Willmar. Pete’s mom, Nyla, also lives in Willmar and devotes much of her time to her church. Pete’s father, Larry, died in a car accident in 2008 shortly after we started dating. He was a wonderful man and that was an extremely hard time for all of us.
I grew up in St. Cloud, MN and am the oldest of three. I have a sister, Ashlan who is 33. Her and her husband, David, live in St. Cloud and are Virginia’s Godparents. My brother, Austin is 29 and spends much of his time fishing and hunting. My mom (Susan) and dad (Joel) both work and live in the St. Cloud area with their Havanese pup, Shiraz.
We spend a lot of time with our family and friends.
We have a unique group of “couple” friends that we have had for several years. Some of us have worked together or went to school together and others just organically became part of our circle. We’ve watched each other date, marry, have babies, lose parents and go through all the things people our age go through. Many of them have kids which we all had around the same time so when we get together it is great to watch them all play. We are grateful that even though Virginia doesn’t have a sibling she has some wonderful kids to play with. We are lucky to have the supportive social circle that we do.
And there we go – that’s our family!
Thank you for taking the time to read through our story. It’s been quite the journey getting to this point and we have learned so much along the way. The decision to pursue a gestational surrogate was an extremely tough call to make but we believe as our pal, Elsa says, it is time to “do the next right thing.” We are excited to continue to learn and grow as we take this next step in building our family. Regardless of what the future holds we are so grateful to have this option to explore.
Pete, Amber & Virginia
…and Cash Diamond
Thank you for reading their story. If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, please click on this link to learn more.